Hentai Nazi | Review – I Played It So You Don’t Have To

Someone has managed to condense disappointment down into digital form and turn it into a game. And its name is Hentai Nazi.

It’s no secret that Steam has a little bit of a shovelware problem. You have asset flips, low-effort guff designed to reel in gullible kids, and possibly the worst offenders of them all: so-called “meme” games. Low-effort games built with a few stock 3D models, some stock music and stock enemies, with a healthy sprinkling of memes to give it some irony value. Which is what brings me to Hentai Nazi.

I’m hoping to fate that I haven’t ended up on some list for playing this game.

Hentai Nazi is one such “ironic” game, developed by a company calling itself “AmagSwag games” – whose portfolio appears to consist of this, another (now-dated) meme game called Hentai: Area 51, and a generic-looking political simulation game called “КАНДИДАТ” (Candidate). There is another dev called ‘Konnichiwa Games’ that seems to have a similar repertoire of parodic “hentai” games as well. For some bizarre reason, it showed up in my trending list one day and my first thought was: “OK, this is something I have to see.”

And now I see why I had to see it: So I could warn any other prospective buyers away from it. I like to think that Steam’s algorithm was begging me to review it, so that other people would be dissuaded from it.

This game makes me wanna “kermit…” oh, you get it.

Gameplay-wise, if I was trying to do the game any favours I’d describe it as a cross between Slender and a third-person shooter. It sees you, as a topless generic anime girl – with a skirt so short and full of starch it may as well be made of Pringles – running around a field of some sort collecting 14 memes, which are needed to gain access to the church in the middle of the map. Inside lies a stock priest with Hitler’s head, who is easily defeatable… and that’s the entire game. The music fades out, and you’re left on the map with nothing else to do. Oh yeah, and there’s generic soldiers that shoot at you. And in this sense at least the game gets one thing right – if you have no clothes on you’re gonna take a lot of damage very quickly if you’re shot.

You’ve also got two weapons with which you can return fire – to wit a Tommy gun and a pistol – but the game doesn’t tell you this until you use the mouse-wheel to select one. Even with the weapons, it’s kind of hard to tell if you’re hitting your enemies at all, since there’s no feedback, and the weapon recoil is really high. All this is set to a repeating loop of the German military march “Erika”, which after about 10 minutes starts to grate. By the time I managed to beat the game (30-45 minutes), it was well and truly stuck in my head, in the BAD way. Also present is copious amounts of copyrighted material, ranging from R2D2’s bleeps, the audio from this video, and pictures of Shrek in the achievements.

I reiterate: someone thought this game was necessary.

If I had to describe Hentai Nazi in one word, that word would be: WHY. Somewhere, possibly in Russia, someone thought that this was a game that needed to exist and decided to put it up for sale on Steam. Thus, my faith in humanity is subsequently shot. In 2018, Valve announced that they would only remove games which were “illegal, or straight up trolling”. This game is possibly both (due to the copyrighted material), and yet as of this review’s publication date it remains available to buy on Steam for £1.69. For the love of all that is sensible and sane, and for the sake of the games industry, I implore you not to do so because this, and games like it, might actually be the absolute nadir of gaming.

Rating:

1 Star

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