Random Heroes had a humble start as a forgettable Flash game on websites that were relevant about a decade ago, before being ported to the App store. The team at Woblyware has recently resurrected the game, albeit stripped of its microtransactions, for console players to have a crack at. Alas, Random Heroes: Gold Edition proves to be little more than just another retro-chique side-scroller with some of the most basic gameplay imaginable.
Cyborg-alien-mutants are invading the planet, and you gotta stop ‘em. The objective in each mission is nothing strenuous. Just reach the goal in each of the bite-sized missions. The level design is nothing spectacular, though they’re competently made. Still, considering each chapter is made up of 11 levels and a boss encounter that recites the same attack pattern after moving in between, it’s clearly a case of quantity over quality.
The common enemies are standard-fare, too. Some won’t attack you unless they’re facing you, or they’ll cluelessly walk around from left to right with all the brainpower of a lobotomized Koopa Troopa. A few will follow you in order to chew away at your health bar, or may simply hide behind armour in between shots. Fighting them is woefully uninteresting since most of the weapons are about as deadly as tossing stale popcorn in their faces. Just grind away until you can afford a bazooka, if you even have the patience.
The big selling point here is the many heroes you can choose from; the only important thing that differs between them are slight stat tweaks. For instance, the bandit has three hitpoints, while the Agent only has one, though he has +3 damage and speed. Some of these characters are straight-up improvements over others, though all of them can be unlocked by acquiring stars. Acquiring stars by grabbing all coins, killing every enemy and reaching the goal unharmed does give it a bit of replayability, at least.
As for the visuals and sound… they’re alright. The pixel art gets the job done, though the soundtrack is delightfully forgettable. It runs well enough on the Switch, to the surprise of absolutely no one, so it’s safe to say this port is spot-on.
Random Heroes: Gold Edition is so bland and predictable, and has very little bite to it. Everything in the game, from the graphics and soundtrack to the combat and movement, is passable at best. Well, there’s a pretty big number of crappy weapons, and the need to grind for the competent guns is insulting. Point is, even though Random Heroes is a fairly cheap side-scroller, the whole thing is nothing more than fool’s gold.
Review code supplied by Ratalaika.